A Cycle of abuse occurs in a repeating pattern. It should be described as most generational and episodic abuse cycles. Generational cycles are passed down, by example and exposure, from parents to children. However, episodic cycles occur in a repeating pattern within a relationship of at fewest 3 individuals. For many victims, it is difficult to recognize when a pattern has developed in their relationship. Instead, they often look violent behaviors as isolated, unrelated incidents. Yet, episodic abuse often happens in cycles, with violent episodes that are drafted to manage and break the victim's spirit, interspersed with periods of calm, loving support, and nurturing care. Don't be a victim, protect your self, study to recognize the cycle of abuse. The 4 stages regarding the abuse cycle
The cycle shall occur hundreds of times in a relationship, but the stages shall vary in time and intensity, however, they can be generally present in all instances of domestic violence.
1. Tension building-The cycle of episodic abuse begins with verbally, for example with loud screaming and/or harassment and even a threat of physical assault. At this point, the victim can usually calm the situation by creating use of techniques that he or she has learned from dealing with past and similar experiences. Many victims shall deny that their partners are abusing them and make excuses for them in their minds. However, many victims do recognize that these mini incidents shall generally escalate and lead to a bigger, more dangerous incident. These victims seem to take it upon themselves to hold things running smoothly so as not to aggravate the situation. The victim endures tremendous psychological stress at this stage.
2. The explosion-During stage 3 of domestic violence, nothing the victim can do or speak can stop the violence. All regarding the tensions from stage one are released. The abuser has no self-control, is in a blind rage, and is oblivious to the damage he or she is inflicting. Severe injury should be done to his or her partner. This phase regarding the cycle is generally shorter than the other 3 stages. However, the abuse that a victim endures during this stage is tormenting
3. Remorse-This is the honeymoon or reconciliation stage, characterized by a period of normalcy. The abusive person shall appear to be truly repentant, going to good lengths to seek forgiveness. He or she should be remorseful, charming and warm and shall assure the victim that the violent behavior shall not ever occur again.
4. Calm- prior to the tension starts again. The abuser acts like the violence not ever happened and promises created during honeymoon stage should be met. Gifts are often provided to
the victim. How does the cycle of abuse destroy the victim?
The insidious repetitious wheel regarding the abuse cycle can and shall destroy the victim. Each time the cycle occurs the victim loses more and more of themselves, becoming an alternate and damaged person. Some destructive effects of constant abuse include: Not wanting to be at home- spends more time elsewhere
Low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness
Depression-leading to thoughts of suicide
Emotional problems- shame, emotional highs and lows, emotional numbness
Illness - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually
Addictions- alcohol and/or drug abuse
Withdrawal- from real life into an alternative reality -possibly the Internet
Break the cycle of abuse
The cycle of abuse can only be broken with outside help. First step in breaking the cycle is to realize that you can be being abused and that it is not your fault. Next, you should think about your personal safety and the safety of your family. Treat safety as an order of first priority. Set boundaries that place you at a distance from the abuser and seek professional help for the 3 of you. For more helpful suggestions on personal growth and security look author's information.
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